Let’s start with the definition of a Bridezilla
‘A breed of bride who acts as though she is the most important person in the universe because she is a bride. A bridezilla often demands unrealistic or unfair requests upon her bridal party, family and/or guests, and often explodes in fury over small details.’ She often has forgotten the true reason for the wedding and focuses too much on small irrelevant details.
9 common traits to identify a Bridezilla
- She demands, not asks, things of her bridesmaids that may be a little extreme, unfair, or costly. Eg; I know a Maid of Honour who was told she is responsible without question, to supply and pay for ALL bonbonniere for 350+ wedding guests. She also had no choice in what the bonbonniere was or how much it cost either, the bride’s choice cost the Maid of honour a whopping $2500! Another example is a bride demanded that all her brunette bridesmaids dye their hair blonde and those with short hair must also get hair extensions put in, to ensure all their hair is the same length and colour. FYI, hair extensions can cost anywhere between $250 and $500 and dying brunette hair to blonde can take months to achieve, cost anywhere from $100-$500 and for some, can damage and dry out hair, not to mention the upkeep involved to keep it looking good afterwards.
- She demands all bridesmaids pay for their own dress, shoes, accessories, hair, makeup, bridal shower, tea party AND supply a hefty wedding present. These things add up very fast. My very good friend was a BM and the bride made her pay $500 for a dress she hated, along with her shoes, jewellery and bag, and that’s not even including the cost of the hen’s night, bridal shower and wedding gift . The bride also demanded she use her chosen makeup artist, despite the fact I was willing to do my friend’s bridesmaid makeup complimentary to save her some money. She is a single parent, this was really hard for her to afford and the bride did not mention any of these potential costs when she asked her to be a Bridesmaid.
- The bride does not consult with bridesmaids on the dresses. Every body shape is different and although the bride is the boss, you really should take into consideration how comfortable your party will be and how well the dresses suit them.
- She goes on a shopping spree with other people’s money (generally parents or fiancé) without consideration for the budget. She wants what she wants no matter how costly!!
- She chooses her bridal party based on looks. I’ve had a bride pick only good looking BMs to ensure her photos look great. I’ve also had a bride chose BMs who were not as good looking, so that she stood out as more attractive in her photos. In my experience, this is not a great way to chose bridesmaids.
- Her personality changes. If a usually friendly, calm person turns into a bitchy nerf-herder, this is a sign.
- She won’t be flexible on any details. If it is not exactly how she wants it, then expect the fan to get dirty and some sh*t to fly.
- Her bridal party consider quitting, or actually bail on being in the bridal party. If someone so close enough to you feels the desperate need to quit her role as bridesmaid, there may be a bridezilla reason.
- Crying, yelling, complaining, multiple phone calls/messages/emails are all regular events.
Some of my experiences with the dreaded Bridezilla…..
- A bride went crazy over flowers that were just one shade lighter than the colour of the bridesmaids dresses. Despite the fact the BMs would not be carrying these flowers, and they looked stunning! Swear words were flying as she screamed “get that f***ing florist on the phone now!” Lucky she had some efficient bridesmaids to take over the situation and calm the bride down.
- A bride decided her ideal hairstyle would be a long half up style with cascading curls down her back. The problem….her hair length was only just below her shoulders and was chemically very damaged due to an unfortunate colour job, so hot styling tools would cause more damage. She specifically refused the idea of any type of hair extensions (even the clip ins), so it was physically impossible for her to have the style she wanted. In the end at her trial she hesitantly, but politely settled for a beautiful up-style. By the time I arrived at her house on her big day (around 9am), she had already consumed 2 Jacks and coke, 4 cigarettes and she admitted to getting no sleep, was emotional, stressed and just overall a mess. When she sat in my chair, she began screaming out that she wants the original long curly hair style and began freaking out and questioning whether I was still going to do the flower girls??!! Try explaining to a freaked out, tired, drunk bride that her hair cannot physically be how she wants it…..
- I had a mature age bride who had her 2 adult daughters as her bridesmaids. Awesome. On the wedding day, we started hair and makeup on the 2 daughters before starting on the bride. But, while the bride was waiting she began to drink. By the time I was finalising the bride’s makeup she was getting quite tipsy. I just had mascara to do and as I got the wand up to her eye, she began acting as though she was a tiger trying to bite the mascara wand. I kid you not!! At first it startled me, but I could see the funny side. After the 2nd, 3rd and 4th times, her daughters had to step in, so I could finish her makeup. Then came the arduous task of doing her hair. Despite her daughter’s attempts to stop her alcohol consumption, she got progressively more drunk and every attempt to finish styling her hair, ended in her pulling out bobby pins and laughing, while saying “OOH, I love this!! “. After her hair was styled as best we could do, she grabbed her camera, took her undies off, stuck the camera up her dress, took some intimate photos and yelled out “I’ll take some before wedding night photos now, and take some after wedding night photos tonight!!” I happened to have a work experience student with me too, that was interesting to have to explain!
- One bride was lucky enough to win her entire wedding in a competition run by one of my advertisers. She got 2 hair and makeup trials, and hair and makeup for her and her entire bridal party for free. She loved both trials which were exactly the same. On the wedding day, I did her makeup first, and everything was going well. I did her hair the same as both trials, but that is when she went off like a frog in a sock. Screaming that her hair was totally different and her entire day was ruined. Her bridesmaids tried to calm her down and told her the hair was absolutely fine, showing her pictures of her trial to help prove it was the same. In the end the bridesmaids calmed her down and I was able to leave, but it was the last free wedding I have ever done and it proved to me that for some people, no matter how much you give them, they may still never appreciate your efforts. Not only did I get abused, but I was the one who paid for her hair and makeup, I had 2 assistants working on that wedding as well, who deserved to be paid. I am generally pretty chilled out on the job, but that was by far one of the hardest days in my wedding hair and makeup career.
